Laura Kane

A digital repository of personal pondering, pics and my favourite things from around the web

smoking | 2 comments

T-minus 5 days

Not long to go now. Five days to my simple mind, but accord­ing to a count­down clock it’s actu­ally 4 days, 13 hours and 37 minutes to go. Since I’m going to stop at mid­night, I sup­pose it’s tech­nic­ally the 2nd of Feb­ru­ary — may go for 11:59 pm instead.

I’ve tried to quit smoking a few times before, and never suc­cess­fully for more than a day or two. I sup­pose my heart’s never quite been in it before now — I genu­inely did enjoy smoking. That view has changed a little over the last few years: the ban on smoking in pub­lic places com­bined with the Scot­tish weather took an ele­ment of the enjoy­ment out of it. It also imposed a bit of an atti­tude change in me. When we were con­stantly sur­roun­ded by smoke in pubs, res­taur­ants and pretty much every­where else it was easy, as a smoker, not to notice the effect smoke was hav­ing on other people. Now, it’s more obvi­ous how unpleas­ant it is and it both­ers even me when the smell of smoke wafts into a pub with an open door.

I made a change to my habit about 18 months ago, in anti­cip­a­tion of quit­ting, by switch­ing from ordin­ary cigar­ettes to roll-ups. There was some logic there: I didn’t like the smell of rolling tobacco and they were a total pain com­pared to pre-rolled cigar­ettes. Of course, rather than put­ting me off smoking I simply adap­ted to my new habit, but I did, how­ever, cut down massively on the amount I smoked. This change has helped me to real­ise that I don’t want to smoke, I just need to smoke. A big change for me, and one that con­vinced me I was finally ready to take on the chal­lenge of quit­ting. With no desire to over­come, there’s only the addic­tion moun­tain to climb.

So, how to go about it? I know from past exper­i­ence that will­power alone doesn’t work for me, and that Nicot­ine Replace­ment Ther­apy makes no sense at all to me. I real­ise NRT is proven to work for some people, but it seems crazy to me to put nicot­ine into your body in order to rid your­self of the addic­tion. So only one option left: drugs.

Champix is a nicotinic receptor par­tial ant­ag­on­ist. Basic­ally, it activ­ates the recept­ors in your brain that nicot­ine nor­mally affects, and pre­vents nicot­ine from attach­ing to those recept­ors. The over­all effect of this is that it reduces the pleas­ure one gains from smoking and sim­ul­tan­eously reduces nicot­ine crav­ings. Some people report that it actu­ally makes cigar­ettes deeply unpleas­ant for them, indu­cing vomit­ing and nausea when they smoke.

All sounds great, right? A magical drug that tells your brain you don’t like smoking any more and con­vinces your body you don’t need nicot­ine any more — what’s not to love?

Well, it’s sug­ges­ted that the drug has a darker side: some patients have repor­ted ser­i­ous side effects includ­ing sui­cidal ideation and beha­viour. As side effects go, they’re pretty ser­i­ous. Seem­ingly, it can also encour­age depres­sion, anxi­ety and aggres­sion among patients — won­der drug doesn’t seem so won­der­ful now.

I’m happy to report that, other than some quite vivid dreams and a bit of a ‘high’ the first day I took it, I’ve exper­i­enced no sig­ni­fic­ant side effects. I still have to report to the doc­tor every two weeks for an assess­ment before I can get my pre­scrip­tion, but hav­ing upped my dose this morn­ing and feel­ing no dif­fer­ent I fore­see no problems.

I’m still smoking while I build up my dose, but I’m smoking less, enjoy­ing it less and not get­ting the usual crav­ings after an hour or so of being some­where that I can’t smoke. So far for me it really does feel like a won­der drug. We’ll see how I feel about that on Wednesday.

Well, well, well. Hasn’t it been a long time? I’ll be hon­est, I’ve been hid­ing out since fail­ing NaNoWriMo entirely. Images of my (3, 4, maybe 5?) read­ers chas­ing after me with pitch­forks for such a hein­ous crime filled my dreams and kept me away. Truth be told, life just got in the way of both NaNoWriMo and doing any­thing with this site. (I say life, but I really mean my new internet-enabled TV and Love­Film account.)

In 7 days, how­ever, I’m going to have a bit more time on my hands and a need for some ser­i­ous dis­trac­tion: I am giv­ing up smoking.

I’m not attempt­ing to give up smoking: I am giv­ing up smoking. At mid­night on 1st Feb­ru­ary 2011. No going back, no fall­ing off the wagon. No excuses.

Let’s hope it goes bet­ter than NaNoWriMo, eh?